Where Are You, God?

Hey y’all, my name is Grace, I’m a sophomore at Western University studying Urban Development and Business. I am currently involved in Asian Christian Fellowship (ACF), shoutout to my Western fam, and today I’m going to share some challenges and joys I’ve experienced in my season as a university student.

I am by no means a writer, but I’ll try to paint a picture of my life to help you understand my challenges and thoughts better. You know when you wake up in the morning overwhelmed and stressed about the future, absolutely restless beyond thought, but you just flop over, fall back asleep and then realize you’re late for class? Well, that's a good description of my current season.

For the first time in my life I’ve been anxious about everything. Why am I in my current program? What am I going to do in the future? Will I be able to get the job that I want? Is COVID-19 going to end anytime soon? What is the purpose of life? God where are you? Sometimes I feel your presence, sometimes all I feel is empty. I often get overwhelmed with guilt and simply don’t understand why I feel the way that I do. I work hard to spend time in His Word, to attend fellowship, to genuinely spend time with Him; despite this all, I continuously struggle to find the motivation to do so, give up, and often think to myself, does this just make me a bad Christian? I wish I could say that I have all the answers, I don't, however I can share with you two ways that God has revealed himself through my struggles.

The two ways that He has revealed himself, and given me hope, are through people He’s placed in my life, and His Word. Shoutout to Courtney, my Media girls, fellowship and high-school friends. These individuals constantly direct my eyes back on Jesus, and remind me that God is in control. Their prayers and presence constantly bring me peace, and I see the love of Christ in them everyday. As Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing”. Intentional mentorship (thanks Court) and fellowship have helped guide me through the unknown of this season of life and has been one of my greatest joys.

Which brings me to the second way God has revealed himself—His Word and promises. God promises that despite what season of life I am in, He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. As I struggle to determine my identity in Christ, and even attempt to decipher my future, I have the comfort of knowing that “His right hand holds (me) fast”. God is an all knowing God who loves me more than I ever could know. Furthermore in Matthew 7:9-11, God doesn’t specify the ‘good gifts’ He will give His children. He only promises that He is consistent in His goodness, and that I can trust in His decisions.

I have confidence in the unshakable reality that God loves me, and I have purpose. God has blessed me in more ways than I could ever imagine. I have no need to be anxious, but in everything through prayer I present my requests to God, and thank Him for all that He’s done. Hold onto the hope that is Christ, His death and resurrection, and the hope that we have in God’s great goodness.