Confessions of a Former Non-Believer

Hey everyone! My name is Emily and I’m finishing up my final year at the University of Waterloo for Urban Planning. I wouldn’t consider myself a writer by any means, but I’d love to get real and honest with you all here and provide my “confessions of a former non-believer” 😊 :

Before I came to Christianity, I viewed religion as some sort of methodology people thought you needed to get into Heaven. The only exposure I really had to Christianity were evangelists that were a little too pushy, and always told me I was destined for Hell. As much as I respected people for having their own viewpoints, I always thought that my perception of life was the right one. It’s the normal one. I was succeeding in the stereotypical ways that society said I should; to get good grades to get a good job and have a good family someday. All very “good”, right?

Well, only until it’s not. And that’s exactly what happened to me. At some point, things weren’t going “good”, and soon my insecurities and anxiety were starting to catch up to me. The worst part is when you don’t realize you have God, then really you don’t have anything.

I’d like to say that I had some sort of moving, “aha” moment that brought me to Christianity, but I went through a long period full of mistakes and stumbling. Soon enough, God led me to the fellowship at the university. I started to make real friends and was introduced to this world that I never really bothered to acknowledge. and saw the goodness and love, not only for God but for each other. I saw the sins that everyone struggled with and their vulnerability. Something I’ve never personally witnessed before.

I love God not just because of everything He has done for me, but because I see what He has done for everyone. It’s funny, before, when my life felt normal and full, I now realize I was just consuming things that didn’t amount to anything.

I blindly followed what society told me to strive for, without any true meaning... but God showed me how to live my life purposefully. He showed me what it was to have true brothers and sisters in Christ. He showed me what real love is.

“[To have faith in Christ] means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you.” - C.S. Lewis

Thank you to everyone who showed me that faint gleam of Heaven.