when you just don't feel like it.

when you just don't feel like being nice

when you just don't feel like working hard

when you just don't feel like being loving

it's okay to have off days.

once again i would like to remind you that it is not by our works or the doings that God loves us so. imagine if you had children and they came up to you and said "mom/dad do you only love me because i did _____ ?"

you probably might think, "that's absurd. i will always love them no matter what they do." but isn't that how we view God sometimes?

we oftentimes measure how much we think He values us by the things we do, how we feel, or how many times we didn't argue back to our siblings and/or parents.

when we don't feel like it, it's just a sign that we forgot how much God loves us, His unconditional love that stretches beyond any circumstance or sin we perform.

when we don't feel like it, it's a sign of forgetfulness of His grace.

growing up i was always in a minority setting. i was one of the few who were korean and christian (i live in downtown toronto and most of my friends were either athiest/muslim). and i remember feeling this pressure of "being christian" and showing off to them how "good" i was (oh boy i was a wreck though).

this mentality is exhausting. it's exhausting to be a christian by works.

we do not act "christian-like" or be "holy" or be "loving" because we have to. we do it because we want to!

what? that's crazy talk. yea it is. hear me out.

i am still just a sinful little boy with two older brothers and it's so easy for me to yell back at them, and ignore them.

but in that second where i get to choose to react or to chill out and respond lovingly, i remember that God loved me so so so much and forgave me so much that i feel...

obligated.

no.

I feel delighted and honoured to love as He has loved me.

love is a choice. if we had no choice to love God, that wouldn't be love right?

but He chose to love us when He had every reason to quit and leave us in the dust.

so when i don't feel like it, i try to remember how much He has loved me.

love is contagious. love is empowering. love is transforming.

and i encourage you too, to remember how much he loves you. its okay to not feel like it. but just remember how much His grace has shone upon you and i guarantee you that's the quickest way out of that spiritual rut you may be going through.

i wasn't feeling it too this morning. i felt bitter and lazy and gross. but as i was typing this post, i started to feel empowered to tackle the day with a smile cause heck.

God really does love me.

and guess what,

He loves you too.