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This story will be anonymous.
Hi! I’m sorry, I am not yet ready to introduce myself because my family still doesn’t know this, and I also have to show respect to my dad, but I plan to share my testimony with my family before this year ends.
I will be focusing on one of the greatest challenges I have faced in my life and how it made my faith stronger. I will share how God gave me hope despite my past.
When I was 14 years old, my dad molested me while I was asleep. At that time, I could not move. I did not know what to do. The only thing in my mind was that I should not let him know that I was awake because I did not want us to have an awkward father-daughter relationship. The next day, I felt guilty because I felt the pleasure even though my mind does not want what he was doing. I also tried searching the question, "What to do if one was molested by her father?" on the internet. The answers were "Tell your mom," "Tell the police," "Sue your father." That time, I knew I would not do those things because I did not want my parents to be separated. I did not want to have a broken family. Until now, I’m already 22 years old, I never told this to any of my family members. God is the only strength that I have during those times because I was shy and afraid to tell it to other people. Even though God is my only comfort at that time, I still asked Him the reason behind choosing my dad to do that to me.
Yes, I was molested by my dad and I felt the pleasure... but God turned what the enemy meant for evil and used it for my good.
In 2014, we had a church camp entitled “Step Up: Challenge Accepted.” During that camp, a song struck me. It is entitled Alabaster Jar, which says, "This Alabaster jar is all I have of worth. I break it at Your feet, Lord, it is less than You deserve. You gave Your life for me so I will live my life for You. Like You spilled Your blood, I spill my heart as an offering to my King." Alabaster Jar is a song about a sinful woman who brought an Alabaster jar of fragrant oil to Jesus because she wanted to ask for repentance. (The camp worship leader explained that, most likely, this woman is a prostitute. And when I heard that, I immediately saw myself in that woman-- super dirty and sinful.) She washed Jesus' feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair, and kissed His feet, and anointed them with the fragrant oil. That Alabaster jar symbolizes the woman's life because it is the only possession that the woman has. After that, Jesus was glad about what she did and forgave her, gave her freedom, and assured her salvation. Jesus even told to the people who witnessed what she has done that “wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” The woman’s story gave me hope in life that I can change and be renewed by God. And more than that, that I can still be used by God for His glory.
Feel free to listen to an acoustic cover of the song Alabaster Jar by Gateway Worship here
During the camp, God reminded me that as I repent, He will forgive me. He also assured me that He still loves me, and He can make me clean as white as snow as if nothing had happened. I was amazed that Jesus already paid the price for my sins even before I do it. After hearing that message from God, I decided to offer my life to Him as He promised me that He could make me better and use me for His glory. Because of God’s forgiveness in my life, I was able to forgive my dad by the power of the Holy Spirit alone. Knowing myself, I know that I cannot do that on my own. I’m just in awe of how God worked in me. But more than forgiveness, I had the burden in my heart to pray for my father's salvation. Because of what he had done, my eyes were also opened that I should also pray for him that one day he will also accept Christ as his Lord and Savior. I want my parents to also know Christ just as I do so that they will also experience God's unconditional love.
During the camp, I stepped up and accepted the challenge of sharing God's love not only to my dad but also to all people that surround me. I want them to have the comfort, peace, love, and joy that I have in Jesus Christ. That was the time when I first realized my true purpose in this life— to share the gospel.
I know how hard life is, and I also know that many other people experienced worse than mine. That's why I want to help them by letting them know Jesus.
Also, I know how hard it is to share the gospel with your family compared to other people. I know what they feel. That's why I told myself I want to share the gospel with other people so that their family members will not have a hard time sharing the gospel with them.
Right now, I have a close relationship with my dad more than ever. (There is really no more anger in my heart.. only love for him.) I let him feel that I love him so much. I also realized that everyone makes mistakes; everyone is imperfect. We’re truly living in a broken world. I believe that my dad was just really tempted that night, and I also believe that he did regret what he had done. After forgiving him, I instantly had peace in my heart. (huhu thank you, Lord!!)
Last 2018, our church had a concert where both of my parents were present. That day, they accepted Christ as their Lord and Savior. That was the best day I ever had because I was assured that they would have eternal life. When I saw them standing and praying the prayer of acceptance, I promised God that I would obey Him in everything that He wants me to do.
To whoever is reading this, I just want to assure you that no matter how sinful you are, know that God is willing to forgive you. He is just waiting for you to come to Him, ask for forgiveness, and follow Him. God desires for you to have eternal life with Him. Come to Him, just as you are.
P.S. that happened when my mom was out of the country, and it was in the middle of the night. So, I still don’t know if he knew, or he just thought that I was mom since I slept in the master’s bedroom. I also don’t know if he was tipsy that night. During that time, I didn't think about those things. I was just really shocked by what happened.
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