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Jason is an Economics major at the University of Toronto and is currently serving at Power to Change - U of T.
For thematic purposes and accidentally writing a piece that was supposed to be for this yet ended up on another track completely, I’m going to keep it simple and share my testimony.
Not sure how I’m supposed to start this but I was born on January 10th, 2000. I think this is the part where people share that they grew up in a Christian household. Well, I did not. My parents were not Christian growing up and even today, my dad remains an unbeliever. My first encounter with church was actually around the 6th grade, when my mom took my brother and I to church because we’d always cause trouble fighting each other. Although from that day onwards we started attending pretty regularly, it was never something that I found particularly interesting. I’d attend youth programs, Sunday school, and regular services but I never quite enjoyed it. Nor did it help that I was cripplingly shy, unable to speak unless spoken to. I probably spent about 4 years there before I really started talking to anyone.
At the same time, I was not particularly interested in meeting the people there either. I had plenty of friends at school. Many of the friends I had were people I had been in touch with since elementary school. We had known each other for years and I didn’t feel like I really needed to make any sort of new friends. These were my people and this was where I belonged.
However, in my 10th grade year, everything changed. The friend group I previously had started falling apart. People went their own ways and that same group that used to play basketball everyday after classes in elementary school separated. The effect it had on me was devastating. At the time, I don’t think I realized how much of my self-worth and portrayal of myself were found in the people I surrounded myself with. Having no friend group or place to fit myself into meant that my self confidence took a nosedive. I felt alone and struggled to find a place to belong. This is not to say that others did not try to invite me in, but that I would never allow myself to be invited in because I did not believe myself to be worthy. I struggled with purpose and didn’t quite enjoy my life. I would skip meals, sleep way more hours than I needed to when I got home, and dreaded the days ahead. I was absolutely miserable and felt that I had no place to turn. I had given up but God had other plans.
I struggled with purpose and didn’t quite enjoy my life. I would skip meals, sleep way more hours than I needed to when I got home, and dreaded the days ahead. I was absolutely miserable and felt that I had no place to turn. I had given up... but God had other plans.
During this time, I was still semi-regularly involved in church. I’d attend events and programs but still didn’t really know anyone. However, I had nowhere else quite to turn and so I tried asking God for help. In the summer of that grade 10th year, God changed my life. Although attending my church’s summer retreat was usually nothing special, this year was different. Amidst all my struggles and loneliness, it was an invitation to a 3 AM hang out they had that changed my perspective on everything. Witnessing the closeness of the group of people there, eating instant noodles, and hearing their laughter-filled conversations, I was immediately both jealous and curious of what they had that I did not. How did they become such good friends? And was it possible for me to be a part of it? To obtain that type of belonging? From that day onwards, I made an active effort to try talking to and befriending the people there, opening up to them and trusting them into my life while allowing myself to join theirs. Over that period of time, as I became more invested with the people there, I also became more invested with God and Christianity. It was through their welcoming and acceptance of me that I was able to experience the love of Jesus for the very first time.
Today I continue to follow Jesus and try to emulate that same welcoming embrace that was first offered to me. “Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God” - Romans 15:7
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