growth

Many of us might have heard this commonly spoken line: "I grew up in a Christian household."

While that is true for me as well, I also have an additional component that only some people will be able to relate with -- my dad is a pastor.

Growing up in a Christian household with my dad as a pastor was no different than my friends growing up in their Christian homes -- or so I thought. The environment I had grown up in was my "normal," so it's all I'd known, but it became very routine. My schedule was so organized and down to a T that I can still ring off the daily schedule back then and name what "Christian-ese" activities or functions I did. I served in my youth fellowship almost every year as a student leader on top of whatever function that was asked of me, but (I believe) I put my name down primarily because of my dad's example and how I saw him lead.

It wasn't until it was late in high school when I started to be more aware of what I was doing, and more importantly, why I was doing it. It was the realization that there's a difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge -- and that in itself was not something my heart had understood until then. One way that I changed was how I read Scripture and just how I overall spent my time with God. I memorized Bible verses as a young kid at Awana (Bible club) but was incentivized with candy and points for my team -- not to say that Awana did a poor job, but that's just what happened with me. As a result of that, I grew up reading Scripture "just 'cuz" and not really to actually learn what God was trying to say to me. Reading Scripture at the heart level and not because it was just put in front of me was something that took (and still takes) conscious effort in both my head and heart.

Spending time with God was also something I had to re-learn. Growing up, I thought of it as only doing a daily devotion from one of those "365 devos for you!" books (re: very routine, scheduled). It wasn't until God revealed to me that, hey, spending time with Him can literally be just that -- being in His presence. Whether it be doing nature walks, listening to worship music, or photography, there are multiple ways I can use my time to abide in Him. Being able to spend time with God in these ways is something I definitely love and appreciate, as I'm able to have a more natural and deeper connection with Him.

Given the chance, if I could change my upbringing, I wouldn't change anything. It's definitely shown me that God works in ways that only He understands and is able to. Especially with everything going on in the world right now and all the uncertainty, trust that He knows exactly what's going on and that our future is in the hands of our almighty God!

Many are the plans in the mind of a man,

but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Proverbs 19:21